Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Vicky is my best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops