Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If youre African, why are you white?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +25

??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops