I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

REHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHAB

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Vicky is my best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops