Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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PENIS

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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dry handjob

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops