Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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whats forever alone me

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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