Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

thumb_up thumb_down -29

go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -205

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +186

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops