How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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