Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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to get to the other side.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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