Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

The government

How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

a pornstar comes early to a party

Carrot fingers

What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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