A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What does water taste like? Water

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops