Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

5 - samios in a wheelchair.

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

black people

Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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