An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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