What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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SNAPPLE!

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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