How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops