What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

smug face >:}

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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