Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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SNAPPLE!

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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