Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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im gay because im gay

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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