A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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