Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

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c:

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Asians

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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who is awesome? no one...

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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