Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

Caroline Kelly.

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

5 - samios in a wheelchair.

Poop!!

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

What do you call a black man? Black

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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