What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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