What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops