Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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hi, im sober.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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