roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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69

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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