What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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