Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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