What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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my bubbles!

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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