Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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