Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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