What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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