"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops