- Anti Joke

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.