What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops