Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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42

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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Testicles.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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