Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where's the dick??? east

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

It got hit by a rocket.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops