Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops