What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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My dad

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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PENIS

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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