A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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balls

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Winter

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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