Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

charlie sheen

So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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