What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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