Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

Jews

why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

What's the difference between a duck?