if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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fduck

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What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

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I'm sn otter

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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I grunt when I poop.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops