a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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