Justin Bieber's mother.

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

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24

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops