Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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