The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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i love to lick...

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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What do you call a black man about to jump off a cliff? Suicidal

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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