You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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i just pooped that is all!

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If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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