Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

Yo mama is so fat she died

* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

i just pooped that is all!

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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