A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Albert <3 Hunter

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops