I'm HIV positive.

What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

Chuck Norris is dead......

What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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