Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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GONNA

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Donald Trump

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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women sports....

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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