Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

Nickleback.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

24

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

A baby seal walks into a club.

Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

Women's rights

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

What do u call a banana? A banana......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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