a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

What do u call a banana? A banana......

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

Women's rights

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Jayden Eccles

Nickleback.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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