Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was a woman crying in a corner of a room She was raped

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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women's rights.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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I like your hair

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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I am a women

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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