There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

knock knock who's there? hope

How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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